Painfully CoDependent
by Gaudete
Summary: Sequel to Beautifully Co-Dependent but without tarnishing that one. Will be updated with one-shots throughout season 6 about the brothers Winchesters co-dependence for good or evil.
1. You Can't Handle the Truth

Rating: T

* * *

Hindsight was 20/20 because if he hadn't been in shock from the resurrections he had faced and the hope and happiness that came from having Sam back in his life then he would have seen the tells that this thing; this beaten bloody thing waking up on the bed wasn't _his Sam. _Sam would have hugged him tightly back when they were reunited. Sam would have spoken with emotion when he said things were better with Dean around. Sam wouldn't have waited a year to ease his mind; his brother would have known Dean wasn't happy without him. Hell Sam wouldn't have been happy without Dean...

"_Twisted, unhealthy co-dependent relationship" _after all.

Sam was awake now…Dean's stomach clinched as he knew what he was going to do next. Sam, the man who had given his life for 6 billion people, but more importantly had died for his older brother- to keep Dean safe would be avenged from the monster wearing his body! And then Dean would take on the angels and God himself to get revenge for dicking the brothers over again and again. Sam _was_ gone, Lisa and Ben had disowned him, Bobby would be alright without him. Dean Winchester would go out as all gunslingers went, all great ones anyway…in a blaze of glory. Maybe in death he would have Sam back.

But first he had a monster to torture. Jerking the larger man from the bed he roughly sat him in a chair and using two sets of handcuffs made damn sure the thing was secured to it in a stress position. Dean didn't think he could actually inflict more bloody bodily damage on _Sam_ right now…his stomach and nerves couldn't handle it. However desperate times and all…and Dean was beyond desperate. There would be no way to climb out of this but since him and Sam had a painfully co-dependent relationship that was twisted beyond belief who gave a fuck? _Let the games begin, _he thought to himself.

"I ask, you answer, and if I don't like your answer well you won't like my answer."

IF he could feel he would have been panicking, terrified of what was to come. He had seen Dean in action countless times and knowing that those times was to keep him safe in a world of crazies…yeah Sam knew he was screwed. How fucking ironic that it would be Dean to deal the death blows? He probably deserved it from his older brother. How he wished he could feel – something! The pain of the position, the pain in his face he felt. Other than that emptiness. There was a glimmer that he could perhaps reason with Dean…but Dean wouldn't believe him after all the lies. How could he? He knew his brother inside and out and he knew how this would end. Dean wanted the truth and he would give it but Dean believed a lie. He was Sam, he was his baby brother and still a pain in Dean's ass. He was just different, hollow and empty and the one person who could save him was to broken with despair to do it. At least it would end soon.


	2. All Dogs go to Heaven

Rating:T

Note: Adding to the story throughout the season. Honestly this episode bored me and I think it's the worst so far. I hope the next episode is better - maybe Gabriel will be back :) When Sam was saying, "blah, blah, blah" that sums it up for me. Get the boy his soul back already so we can have drama from that fallout and puppy dog eyes! Anyway, this is from Dean's POV.

* * *

Maybe he was never meant to save his brother, even from the very beginning. Perhaps he had just been too damn stubborn to realize that fact. He had ran with Sammy out of the house, he had tried to shield him from the reality that was their life on the road, he had given up his childhood to keep Sammy safe, he had sold his soul to bring Sam back from the dead, he had gone to Hell out of love for his brother, he had fought to keep Sam from turning into a demon, and he had fought with Sam on his plan to jump into the pit with Lucifer. In the end he had finally let Sam grow up and make his own decision, even though it cost Dean everything. And now Sam was costing Dean everything again.

Since Sam had come back into his life he had frightened Lisa and Ben, yelled and shoved Ben, lost the love of a woman he could spend the rest of his life with, met his mom's relatives who were a bag of dicks, been double crossed by Sam and turned into a vampire, learned grandpa was hunting down Alphas for Crowley who wanted to find Purgatory for some unknown reason, double crossed by grandpa, realized his brother was a soulless monster who would sell him down river in a heartbeat, beaten the shit out of and tortured said monster to find out he was truly soulless, and was working for a demon in order to get Sam's soul back. Downward spiral didn't begin to describe his life right now. And now this?

Wow! Was all Dean's mind could fathom at the moment. The thing sitting across from him had come clean – maybe, who the hell knew anymore? It all sounded good but Dean had doubts. He had lost everything so what else could he do other than try to get his brother back? Bigger question was _why? Why _after all this creature had destroyed in his life, after it told him that he could care less about Dean but needed his help and therefore had to tell the truth to keep Dean around , _why _would he help the dick? He loved Sammy, his dorky, pain-in-the-ass little brother who was long gone now. Maybe stuck in a cage with two pissed archangels, maybe a bitch to some crossroads demon, maybe scattered across the universe…who the fuck knew? This wasn't Sam and he didn't care about the creature in front of him either. Not in the least, except sometimes in a fraction of a millisecond he saw a flash of his Sammy, his baby brother – but then it was gone. In fact he was terrified of it and still, knowing it was only his soulless brother, wanted to kill it. Everything inside him screamed at him to kill it – if it could be killed. Could you kill something that didn't have a soul? So listening to Sam emote without expression what was going on inside his soulless mind irked him, but what if he could get Sammy back?

Again the thought of _why _he would want Sam back haunted him. He should let what's dead stay dead, hadn't he learned that lesson the hardway? He had let Sam grow up, go through with the leap with Satan plan and that should have been the end…but it wasn't. Dean had accepted Sam was gone, that his family was gone. Sam had saved the world, why tarnish that final act of bravery? Didn't mean he hadn't tried to find a way to get him back though. He had researched but knew in his heart that what was dead should stay dead no matter how it destroyed him inside. The pain would diminish over time and Lisa and Ben were great. If he had stayed with them longer he knew he would be able to manage the pain of losing Sam. But Sam had taken that loving family away from him. It wasn't perfect but it was all he had and now it was gone. Anger grew inside of Dean as Sam finished.

"We do what we have to do. Then we get my brother back." Dean would never know why he was so co-dependent on his brother – regardless of what Sam was. Maybe it wasn't twisted co-dependence, maybe it was just a stubbornness to see it through to the end.


	3. Caged Heat

**Title**: Three times Fear

**Rating**: T

**Summary:** Set after Caged Heat. Sam thinks about the last hunt and what it means for his soul while Dean gets pissed and determined to get Sam's soul back. I liked this episode a lot and the fact that Sam, sans soul, going to extremes to save Dean...made me hopeful.

* * *

For the first time in months Sam found himself setting alone in a cheap motel room. He couldn't even figure out why he had pulled Dean back into hunting. He didn't need him, or did he? He wasn't lonely tonight, and if he wanted companionship well he would just call an escort service. No, what he was was scared and running. No different than Meg actually.

He had walked away from Dean after the epic failure of their latest attempt to get his soul back. The last hunt had been too much. Too much information, too much betrayal, too much everything! But the thing that was eating at Sam's mind was the fact that even without his soul, even as a so called robot, he _felt_ fear. He felt fear on three different occasions actually if he was honest with himself. How could a soulless person fear? He shouldn't be able to feel anything – yet three times fear gripped him. This was a new experience for him, and he suspected it was because of Dean, of the brotherly bond they shared. Or maybe it was the memory of what fear was that caused the chemical reactions in his body to let him experience what fear to felt like?

"To much thinking," he said to himself. The night was early, he didn't sleep so maybe all there was to do was think, and research a way to keep his soul out of his body. He had to keep that mutilated thing away, because he knew Dean would figure a way to get it back. Yet he couldn't think about that right now, all he could think about was the three times he was afraid during the last mission and what they meant to his soulless self.

The first time Sam felt his body react out of fear was when Castiel told Dean what was being done to his soul. Figures Lucifer and Michael were torturing it and that it was a tattered mess now. Maybe his soul had always been tattered, it had definitely had a dark spot on it, but then Cas told Dean that _if _they failed he would suffer horrifically the rest of his life. Sam didn't want to suffer, to become a drooling shell of a man. Wasn't he just a shell already according to Dean? At least with this shell he could hunt down evil sons of bitches and perhaps, just perhaps get revenge on the dicks with wings and their Father that had caused him so much pain throughout his life. This fear left him quickly, it was the second time that he feared that shook him to his core and for a brief moment made him wonder if he was truly empty inside.

They had been betrayed by their grandfather, locked in Crowley's demonic monster prison, awaiting whatever sick torture he had in mind. That didn't scare Sam. His mind was working on finding a way out. What scared him was Dean's safety. If he couldn't feel why did he fear for Dean? When Crowley's bitch demons came to take his brother away he briefly let fear take control of him. He had to rescue his brother. Dean needed him, needed him bad, was counting on him and he couldn't let him down. Not now. Not after what they had been through! This fear, fear for his brother baffled him the more he thought about it now in the safety of the motel. Hadn't he told Dean that he really didn't care for him other than as someone to help him get his soul back? Now he was almost paralyzed with fear for his brother. He had ripped his arm open for the blood that bound the demons inside the cell so that he could save his brother – and he didn't think about it, he just acted. It felt right, if felt normal, it felt human and he wasn't supposed to be human without a soul! The fear for his brother didn't go away, not even after he had rescued Dean from the ghouls. It was only pushed down when a new fear, no more like realization set in.

Two demons, both his enemies, had agreed with the sheriff of Heaven that getting his soul back into his body was a bad idea. He feared the outcome for his body, but what he feared most was risking Dean's life to get something he didn't want back. It wasn't logical to risk Dean's life for it, or his for that matter and he told himself over and over again. Can't continue the cycle; that was what Dean had tried to get grandpa to realize. Sam didn't want it back and logically he didn't need Dean anymore. But there was still something deep down inside him that needed his brother. The old Sam would understand it, would recognize it but this Sam couldn't place it. He walked away but was it out of logic or fear? The answer hit him in the gut harder than any supernatural foe ever had. For someone without a soul he had been an awesome little brother and saved Dean's life, because he cared for him!

In 24 hours soulless Sam Winchester had been afraid three times and realized he could care. Still that didn't make the fact that having his soul back would not be good for him.

* * *

Dean had watched his brother walk away. He was angry! He had given up everything again for the bastard and Sam was just walking away from him – again…OH HELL NO! Dean Winchester made good on his promises and he was _going_ to get his brother's soul back, and he was _going_ to shove it down Sam's gullet, and _they _were _going_ to deal with whatever consequences came from it! Sam might have grown up and Dean might have let him, once; but Dean knew what was the best for Sam and they would get through it. If he had to move Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory to fix his brother he would.


	4. Appointment in Samarra

**Title**: Appointment in Samarra

**Rating**: M (language)

**Summary**: just wondering what Dean's options were before he had hotdogs with Death and also wondering how long Sam would scream.

* * *

Dean would never, ever get use to the sight of his brother tied to a dirty cot in Bobby's panic room. How many times had Sam ended up there? Dean's stomach lurched when he thought of it, so he pushed it out of his mind. He was screwed, Sam was screwed, hell thanks to him Bobby was screwed too! Well Dean Winchester this is your life the voice said to him. You're a screw up, a royal fuck up you couldn't even keep a ring on for 24 hours all because you had to be you. Now what? You only have one option Dean, the voice continued. You have to kill your brother. He's not your brother anyway, not really, not without his soul. If you don't kill him he'll kill you and Bobby. Though you're pathetic excuse of an existence wouldn't be missed, Bobby's would.

Dean stared at Sam and Sam at him. He knew what Sam saw in his eyes, failure. Dean had failed to get Sam's soul back and now the only other option was to kill him. Sam knew in Dean's eyes that Dean was sorry for what would happen next, that he fucked it up and now the only sane thing to do was eliminate the threat that was Sam Winchester. Dean wondered how scarred fratricide would make a vessel? After all wasn't it one brother killing another that started the events?

Sam had seen what he needed to in his brother's eyes. Dean had failed, there was grief, hopelessness, despair and longing. He really didn't need to ponder what that meant for him. He wouldn't be getting his soul back, that was good but Dean and Bobby weren't going to let him go. Sam had heard them through the door. They were out of options and yes, he _was_ capable of anything and nothing would hold him. His survival was at stake and that trumped Bobby's life, hell it even trumped Dean's. In the silence that followed he struggled with the handcuffs, but they wouldn't give. So he thought about what he could do. Killing his father figure would scar his vessel but adding his brother – that surly would prevent his soul from ever returning. If he had a soul he would have been horrified at the way his mind was working. Killing Dean, after everything he had done and all the times Dean had forgiven him. Well Dean was wrong this time and Sam was glad he failed. Dean had to realize that Sammy wasn't coming back, but at least this Sam could give Dean some peace. He would wait for Dean to return to kill him and then somehow manage to lash out. Get them before they got him.

Dean could get use to the sight of Sam strapped down to a dirty cot in Bobby's panic room, if it was warranted. What Dean would never get use to and he hoped with his every fiber of his being he never had to was Sammy's screams! Cas had given him something to bite down on when he searched for his soul, Death just stuck his cold hands into Sam's chest and the agony on his brother's face, the pain filled screams and cries that escaped his brother's lips would have made Dean lose his dinner, if he had been able to eat anything that Death had offered. The way Sam screamed reminded him of the souls he had tortured in Hell. It was as if Sam was having his skin cut off piece by piece with a rusty blade. That was the screams coming from his baby brother…and it was all Dean's fault!

The screams continued long after Death was gone. Sam's soul was in agony! Sam was in agony, writhing and panting, screaming and crying till he thought his lungs would burst! When he could speak, only hatred toward Dean came out of his mouth, he was in _that _much anguish. Hours past and Sam quieted. Anger replaced by exhaustion and acceptance. Sam, he would be alright in the end.

And Dean…well Dean was damned for all time.


	5. Dark Night of the Soul

Title: Dark Night of the Soul

Rating: T+ (strong language)

Note: The first part is from the new preview for _Like a Virgin_ from the CW. It's the dialog between Castiel and Dean.

* * *

_Well?_

_His soul is in place._

_Is he ever going to wake up?_

_I'm not a human doctor Dean._

_Can you take a guess?_

_Ok, probably not._

_Oh well don't sugar coat it!_

_I'm sorry Dean but I warned you not to put that thing back inside him!_

_What was I supposed to do? Let T1000 walk around, hope he doesn't open fire?_

_Let me tell you what his soul felt like when I touched it. Like it had been skinned alive Dean! If you wanted to kill your brother you should have done it outright!_

Cas was gone. Dean's lifeline was back in Heaven and he was screwed – again. His brother' soul was in place, but it was damaged. Dean could relate to the feeling of being skinned alive, he had spent decades in Hell having Alistair fillet his skin off. So Dean knew that once the dam holding back Sam's memories burst his brother would suffer, but they would deal with that when and _if_ that time ever came. Sam was strong he could take it. Dean wouldn't let him suffer alone. Oh fuck it all the Hell who the fuck was he kidding? Sam was going to die and it was going to be Dean's fault! He kicked at every unbolted down piece of furniture in Bobby's basement. Tears falling down his cheeks, he grabbed his face in his hands and let out a scream before crashing to his knees!

Bobby came running down the stairs, shotgun in hand…just in case and saw Dean rocking on his knees on the floor. The kid looked miserable and Bobby looked around to find the youngest Winchester. Sam was still unconscious on the cot in the panic room. Balls, he couldn't even see the man's chest rising. Was he even breathing? He shook his head, one thing at a time and the most pressing was the eldest Winchester – Dean looked broken. That scared Bobby more than zombies, more than demons, or RoboSam. He kept his own turmoil hidden as he walked softly to Dean and placed a shaky hand on his shoulder. If Dean was broken there would be no way he could put him back together. Through sobs Dean spoke to him.

"Bobby, he needs his soul."

"I know boy."

"He's not Sammy without it."

"I know." He wanted to tell the broken man on the floor that it was the right thing to do – but honestly Bobby had no idea what was right and wrong when it came to Sam and Dean and the status of Sam's soul. Of course he wanted the old Sam back but if this plan of Dean's didn't work, if it went sideways Dean's lost his baby brother permanently. No demon deals, no coming back, no passing go and collecting $200 – Sam was dead. Hell if he survived with his soul he was a dead man walking, without it he was a dead man walking, either way Sam Winchester was lost and his brother had to accept that. But there was no way in Hell Bobby was going to tell Dean that, not now anyway. God it tore Bobby's heart out!

"Cas says he might not wake up," it was a soft murmuring sob from Dean. "Bobby what am I supposed to do?" It was the same question that went through his mind when Sam died at Cold Oaks…and look where that had gotten them. God it was all _Dean's _fault! Dean, the weak one who couldn't live without his family. Dean, the weak one who let his unwavering love for his pain in the ass baby brother and the memories of the past cloud his judgment more times than he could count. Dean was weak, he couldn't kill Sam when he was on the verge of going rouge, he couldn't kill Sam when he was with Ruby and drinking blood. Dean would never be able to kill Sam…yet according to Castiel he already has!

It's true you can drown in guilt and sorrow and Dean was on the bottom, his lungs no longer drawing in air. He didn't want to, he wanted to die. He should still be in Hell, on that rack or torturing souls. He had failed at everything in his life…BUT GOD DAMN IT SAM NEEDED HIS SOUL! HE HAD TO HELP STEER SAM THROUGH IT! That thought pulled him above water again and he breathed in. It was always going to be about Sam because Dean needed Sam. It was like wedding vows, and where that thought came from he didn't know but that's how their relationship was.

Together in sickness and in health, good times and bad, joy and sorrow. From the moment Sam, the 6 month old baby, was placed in his arms it had been a promise of unconditional love. As they got older and went through typical childhood and teenage drama and angst his duty was to laugh with Sam and cry with Sam, especially as life continued to shit on them. Then came the Apocalypse and all the insane crap that came with it and Dean's role was to take Sam's faults and his strengths and mix them with his own. Dean had made a promise to help Sam when he needed help and by fucking god this counted as one of those times!

Dean had nothing to feel guilty about. He had to stop beating himself up over everything that he did when it came to his brother. He was the older brother he knew what Sam needed, always had. Had always looked out for the kid. Had always chosen Sam as the person with whom he would spend the rest of his life with. And if Sam died then so would he. He rose up and let Bobby support him for once. Together the hunters walked to Sam's side and took seats.

"He'll wake up Dean," Bobby said comfortingly. "He's one strong son of a bitch. Not as strong as his brother but…well there's not much out there stronger than Dean Winchester."

It was a compliment and Dean took it. Just as the weariness took hold of him Sam jerked on the cot. Then another jerky movement, like muscle spasms. Dean held his breath and waited for his Sammy to wake up.

* * *

THE END


	6. Like A Virgin

Loved the hug in _Like a Virgin_ and wanted to write something about that but then this happened. Enjoy.

* * *

Sam woke in the panic room…alone and with no clear memory of what he did to get put into the room that felt like it was specifically designed for him. However he noticed that the door was open. It was also eerily quiet, he couldn't hear a single sound coming from anywhere, not even the ventilation fan made a noise. He moved slightly, fully expecting to be tied down to the cot. It only confused him more when he realized he wasn't confined in any way. He slowly sat up, stomach growling with hunger and his head ached. And there was a feeling in his chest like someone had taken rib-splits, the kind coroners used, and opened him up! His hands quickly went to his chest to check for cuts and blood but there was nothing. All of it was too much for his confused mind to take in but he soldiered forward swinging his legs off the cot and attempted to stand. He stood up on legs that hadn't been used in days and stumbled to the door grabbing it for support. All the physical pain was bearable though; it was the memories that now came flooding back that were causing him pain. Stull, Michael in the form of Adam, the Impala, Dean bloodied, Cas exploding, Bobby's neck twisting, the plastic army man, the Pit opening and him falling…Adam was the last thing he saw before darkness. He took a few deep breaths and pushed onward out the door toward the stairs. Once again he listened and now he could hear voices coming from the study. He immediately recognized the low timbre as Dean's. Thank god he was alive!

Sam remembered in every graphic detail how Lucifer used him to beat Dean senseless. Every crunch of Dean's delicate facial bones, every gush and splat of his brother's blood onto the Impala; Sam remembered it all as if it happened yesterday. He remembered wrestling control back from Lucifer and looking at the damage he had done to his big brother. It repulsed him but he didn't have time to do anything about it, he had to throw Lucifer into the Cage. Sam wondered how much time had passed, and then he wondered if this was a new trick of the Cage? Then he panicked as he couldn't remember anything about being inside the Pit! What the hell had his brother done to get him out and what would it cost them? Fear spurred him up the stairs.

Fear and panic grew to where Sam was focused on only one thing, he had to get to his brother. He had to wrap his arms around Dean, make sure he was real, and then never let him go. Dean had come for Sam, wasn't going to let Sam die alone and now Sam was back – but at what cost to Dean? That thought made him angry for a second, that Dean had gone poking at the Cage but the anger was quickly forgotten as Sam finally made his way through the kitchen. He waited a few moments before walking into the study. He just wanted to hear Dean's voice and feel his presence…it was the best feeling he had in a very long time! Bobby and Dean were talking about a job and Sam couldn't wait any longer he had to see his brother, to hold him.

"Dean," he said with uncertainty? He didn't know how his brother would react to having him walking and talking.

Hearing Sam's voice, so soft and innocent startled Dean! He set the glass down and turned to look at the overgrown man standing in the doorway. It was Sam, _his _Sam soul and all! There were precious few times in his life when he was happy, genuinely happy, and this one topped the others. It topped having Sam back after Jake had killed him, it beat seeing Sammy in the cheap hotel after he had gotten back from Hell, and it sure as hell beat finally letting Sam grow up. His brother was awake, back with the living, re-souled and for a moment Dean allowed himself to be happy. But only for a moment because Sam's soul was fragile and no one knew how he would react to having it back. There was a lot at stake. Standing up he had only taken a few steps when his brother had him in a hug.

Sam didn't want to let his brother go once he got his arms around him. He could see the shock on his brother's face but it didn't matter. He was back with his brother the way it should be. He wanted to cry from relief and happiness but he didn't. Instead he just pulled his brother tighter to him and breathed in Dean's smell letting it comfort him in a way that had been so long denied. After a moment he reluctantly let his brother go. No matter what Dean had done to get him out of the Cage they were together now and they would remain together – always.


	7. Frontierland

Title: Ugly White Shirt

Rating: G

Summary: The shirt wasn't _that_ bad.

* * *

Sam looked at himself in the upstairs mirror. He looked so stupid in this god awful button down with the colorful embroidery on the shoulders. Wally's Western World needed to be salted and burnt to the ground for selling this "authentic" western crap! Maybe he could conveniently ruin it in 1861 and never have to wear it again? Then he thought of the happy face Dean had given him when he handed him the bag.

In the 28 years Sam had been living he had screwed Dean's life up countless times. Running away when he was still a child, several times. Leaving to have a normal life effectively breaking ties with his family for four years. Becoming just as obsessed as their dad with killing the yellow eyed demon that had taken so much from him. But the sick thing was old yellow eyes had taken so much more than mom and Jessica from Sam. He had been the start, back when Sam was 6 months old of the strife that would characterize his relationship with his brother. And it didn't stop when the son of a bitch was dead at Dean's hand. No, then yellow eye's legacy had caused Dean to go to Hell for him, break the first seal. It caused Sam to forsake his brother, his only family, for the hundredth time. Now they were finally getting to build as normal a relationship as they could. One that should have been there to begin with. One based on trust and mutual respect of each other.

So yes the "western" shirt was ugly. And yes his brother was _way _too happy about going back in time, regardless or heedless of the dangers. And that was exactly why Sam needed to wear the shirt. Dean had bought it for him, for their jaunt back to 1861. Dean would need him to watch his back, especially with as giddy as Dean was to go to the Old West – he was liable to let his hunter training go out the window due to excitement so someone had to be there to catch Dean. Sam was honored that it was him. Ever since Dean had let him decide to say yes to Lucifer, jump in the pit, then get his soul back Sam knew the only person in his life would be Dean. It made the most sense anyway with the life they lead, it was a shame it only took adverting the Apocalypse thanks to Dean's stubbornness to make Sam realize that. The brothers would forever be bound with each other, soulmates through good and bad and as long as they choose family…well then they'd be ok. It was terrifying, more so than all the crap they dealt with on a daily basis to be so dependent on someone as they. But Sam pushed the fear down and smiled at his reflection. The shirt wasn't _that _bad.

Sam took a deep breath and walked downstairs, meeting Dean on the landing. He grinned at his big brother in the blanket and the hat. Dean was getting carried away and you know what? He deserved it! Sam knew where his priorities lay now – with Dean. Dean might have said that all was forgiven but Sam had more to prove to his brother. Wherever it would lead Dean was his priority and screw anyone who tried to come between them again!

* * *

Note: There will probably be another one where the shirt comes off in Good Enough so stayed tuned.


	8. The Man Who Knew Too Much

This was written way back in the May or June (before season 7) and somehow slipped through the cracks. Enjoy.

* * *

There had been many things that had broken Dean Winchester throughout his 32 years of existence. The first being the untimely death of his mother, followed by numerous daddy issues, Sammy issues, the Apocalypse, leaving Lisa and Ben for good, Sam's soul issues, Sam's wall issues…Sam, Sam, Sam — no Castiel.

The latest was Cas, his onetime surrogate brother. The angel of Thursday that had raised him from Hell, had broken rank to side with the Winchesters, had helped stop the Apocalypse, had somehow, someway managed to slide off the tracks. How? Why? Didn't matter Castiel was supercharged now and after he took care of Raphael's followers he guessed the Winchesters and Bobby were next on the hit list. How was he going to protect those he loved from Cas? What would it cost him? When would it just end? And then Dean's thoughts went back to what they always focused on, Sam.

What would Sam remember? What would trigger it? Could Sam ever escape the nightmares? Too many questions with no answers. Sometimes Dean just wanted to end it all. Take Sam and Bobby out with him. Sam watched his brother fall apart, piece by piece, just as helpless to help him as Dean had been helpless to merge Sam's shattered souls back together. He had finally realized, after 28 years that Dean was the only thing in his universe that was a constant. Constant protection, constant love, a constant companion no matter how far Sam would run or how long he would stay gone in the end it was always Dean he came back too. Even when he was soulless he sought Dean out. He didn't need Dean's help with the shifter baby — but he couldn't leave his brother alone. Now whole Sam realized what a jerk he had been in breaking up Dean's life with Lisa and Ben…but truth was Sam, even soulless, knew no one but Dean. Desired no one else's company but his big brother. Co-dependent to the core especially in their fucked up world. He had put himself back together for Dean, no one else, just Dean and now he was helpless to intercede as Dean broke into tiny pieces.

There would be too many pieces to fit back together but Sam would try. He silently sat down beside his brother on Bobby's couch. Chick-flick moments be damned Dean thought to himself! He needed contact and pulled Sam into a tight embrace. The world was ending and it was ending bloody but as long as they had each other they would make one last stand, and they would go down together. A blaze of glory, a fitting end for reluctant heroes. He held on to his brother for dear life, Sam was the only thing keeping him afloat in the sea of misery.

"I gottcha big brother," Sam said as his voice broke from emotions. "We go together yeah?" He knew what was going through his brother's mind. He knew Dean better then Dean knew himself and vice versa.

Bobby walked in to tell them he had found a spell that would protect them from being found by Purgatory creatures but stopped as he saw the brother's entwined. Life had never been easy for the Winchesters but for a moment they were together, holding onto each other as if their lives depended on it — and it probably did. He smiled. Whatever came their way as long as Dean and Sam made a stand together the world would go on. Even if the brother's did not. He only hoped that in the end the boys would find peace with each other and be together forever. They were too dependent on each other for it not to be that way.

* * *

END of Painfully Co-Dependent. Thank you all for reading.


End file.
